Jamie Bartlett, a beast... a problem though!!!

When I was a little girl (yes you heard right) I wanted to be Jamie Bartlett. Of course I didn’t know who the fuck Jamie Bartlett was until my mid-teens, but who cares, I wanted to be him.

And I do admit that even today I know very little about this man, but I still want to be him. The love that I bear for the actor that is Jamie Bartlett bears no other name than this… FOREVER! 

It's not what you think guys... But just for the record, what are you thinking?

Since his days as part of the illustrious Isidingo cast, right up to when I saw him bring a passionate history teacher to life in the Market Theatre production, Death of a Colonialist (where I literally drooled from my semi-front row seat). Besides his superb exhibition of his craft and everything else, he has forever oozed a raw kind of firm, sexy aura that seethes out of the TV screen and captures you wherever you are. There is no chance of escape once he enters a scene. On Rhythm City, he speaks a language that I’ve only ever heard once in my life, from him. It is fresh, naughty and wry around the edges. He can tell you that you are such a piece of shit and you’d honestly feel so charmed and probably even blush (I know I would).

You are probably reading this and thinking WTF?!? Just realize that I’m sitting here and wondering the very same. But then again, why start a blog if I can’t bombard you all with random outbursts from my suppressed sexual frustration?  

If at any point in my life you are to ask me what the 3 hottest things at the moment are, Jamie will always make the list. Guaranteed!!!

3 Hottest Things @ da Moment (for me) are:

1.       Jamie Bartlett

2.       Girls with Boy names e.g Jack, John, Stevie

3.       Beyonce (Oh sorry guys, she’s also a permanent on this list)

So Jamie Bartlett it is… May this legend of a man forever grace TV screens across the land and may we all grow to understand that HE IS THE ONE!!!

As an actor in my adult life, I’m studying in the school of Jamie Bartlett (in the privacy of my own mind and home of course) and would kill if I could capture and be influenced by any of this greats’ skill, discipline and range.

I really don’t know what you can say of me from this post, really. I’m that nutty, psycho fan who should be kept away from Jamie Bartlett for his own safety? YES. 

So say this of me:  “He was a nutty, psycho fan who should’ve been kept from Jamie Bartlett (at all costs) for his own safety. But alas, we failed. So here we are!”

Forgive me... But I need to get this off my chest!

"And. Your. New.Minister... (inserts historic, long-ass, dramatic pause with music).. Is. (CLIFFHANGER.. roll credits)

Riveting stuff, I tell ya!

My favourite soap opera of all time… 

I cringe at the audacity most of our leadership seems to display as they (incompetently and fraudulently) fumble through their jobs. Vivid images of someone all up in my face saying, “Yeah I’m fucking you around. Whatchu gonna do about it bitch!!!”, keep flashing in my mind.

When are we planning to discuss the cavalier manner in which those in leadership positions view their positions? When will these positions be viewed (and treated) as the jobs they are and not just mere honorary titles bestowed upon the blessed few.

That being said, can our champion (yes you sir) adapt a more thought-out and considerate (nation-focused) procedure when recruiting for these positions. This Santa Claus approach I am seeing now, where such critical positions seem to be treated as Christmas gifts, is not revolutionary comrade. It’s not ‘weeeeecking’.  Yes we see you there. Crossing off and ticking away as you scroll down that already suspect list of friends…Oops I meant candidates.

I’ve never been to parliament but I’d so love to go. Every time I picture it inside this glitter-filled brain of mine, I see a high school corridor in those schools where the governing body has totally given up. There is a cheery, buddy-buddy conversation, about everything that is not school, going on and everyone is clearly drunk. There are prefects who are only in power because they are popular with all the delinquent kids, the smokers and the slutty, cool girls from rich families (whom I’ve always wanted to be). And they all vote for each other because they’ve all been at this school longer than law, logic or even life should allow (veterans I tell you). The Grade 8 to 10 votes are thrown out, they don’t matter. 

Say what you will, this is the picture I get most times I think about it.

They articulate all the right sentiments in their discussions, street circus rallies (read ‘act-lik-we-care’ parties), and long winded (and so unnecessary) excuses and smokescreens. All this while those who put them up there suffer, I say go do your own thing honey you are not about to eat if you wait. 

My heart tears every time I pick up a newspaper, catch a glimpse of a headline as I drive or happen to overhear the sordid details of a ministers shameful misconduct as I channel hop searching for scandal (Scandal! eTV,  get it? Whoaa tough crowd) that actually has been scripted for my amusement.

I finally do make my way to the programming of my desire, and while taking in Donna and Thembeka’s superb styling, Mangi’s adorable facial expressions plus Daniels alleged corruption, I realize that the juiciest drama was a channel or two ago. And I think to myself, “I wonder who styles the leads in that soapie that our democracy has become.

In that breath, my dear friends, countrymen and fellow sufferers, I say, please, oh please say this of me… He wanted change in the worst kind of way. 

Hello World!!!

"Whitney Houston... we have a problem. Sizo has started a blog."

Oh wow, so I finally decide to try out blogging. Phew lets see how this goes. I guess while I wait to get noticed and ultimately published or made an overnight cult (read BLOW UP), here is MY blog. Fashionably late as is, the peanut gallery can just \_ ... 

Before you carry on into actually reading this blog *giggles*, my blog. I just wanna tell yall how chuffed I am that you're here. Nilapha nyan?!? *giggles some more* He he he he he he he Feeeeeeeeeeenks!

Hoping it will be unique, fresh, funny as hell , quirky, soooo 'fetch' and not as morbid as the blog title may suggest. Basically sharing with you world, what my close friends (who are the coolest) and family get to enjoy when with me. ( I just feel I'm too delicious not to go all out and franchise this self of mine and now while here in P.E, I have the time). 

I figured I kinda like my world and the way I see it, and wanted to share it with all'a'yall and in turn interact with other views and see how we see this very same world.

Hope i enjoy this lovely exercise in self-indulgence (and hopefully you too). If not? What the heck, a lil free expression never started a civil war right? Move up blogsters, I wanna sit next to Khaya Dlanga.

So look forward to a lot of ME and my uber random cool surroundings and adventures, and the realities I choose to extract from it all.

So please, oh please say this of me... HE HAS A BLOG!!!!

Here I am bishezzzz. LOVE ME!