The end... the beginning... Us!

We love cast parties... We love dresses for boys #AboutUs

It is not that we are tired; it’s the false safety the word itself affords us. How human we feel when we need, want and ask for help. It is not that we are weak... it’s almost a blatant refusal to get the fuck up and move on! Don't save me, ask me when the fuck am I going to get up! 

 I love how I’m always alive to realise it’s time to move on… one day, I also realise, I won’t be so lucky.

So my little stint in P.E is almost over, November looks a little bleak. A lot of thinking and a lot of plans need to be made but most importantly stock needs to be taken. I’m better off than I was 4 months ago and this I cherish more than I fear the road ahead…

So much is happening, I feel I haven’t delivered as promised on this here blog of mine… but hey how self-indulgent is changing my mind as I go along… (don’t say I never told yall).

UPDATES:

Please go vote for my friend Mlilo Mpondo over hurrrr (you can also win yourself a Blackberry 9360 handset if you do)
  
http://www.elle.co.za/the-heat-is-on/

She’s one the Elle StyleReporter finalists and already the winner in my eyes but ke the world does not dance to my tune so let’s help it along.

Also check out her ‘so about us’ piece as I’ve fondly named it: 

http://lifestayela.blogspot.com/2012/10/when-we-became-felanation.html
 

On the subject of blogs that are about us, a lovely talented spirit here in Algoa Bay saw me worthy of a little love on her blog, BlackBoldVoice : 

http://www.blackboldvoice.blogspot.com/2012/10/fashion-focus-sizo-vena.html
 

Do check all of this out dahlingsss…

If bitches gon' be talking, yall better say this of me : He believed that friends are there to be pimped and the same is expected in return 

 

Each one, pimp one...

LIGHTS, CAMERA... MASCARA!!!

My career so far...

"When I grows up momma... I wanna be in pitchers!!!" *in a heavy southern accent please*

Also during this birthday week of mine, the episodes I shot for Etv soap, Scandal! played. One episode played on the eve, another on the night of my special day and then another four days later. Was that serendipitous or was that serendipitous? Truth is I enjoyed shooting these episodes more than i actually enjoyed watching them.

During the viewing's there was so much looking away and self questioning and major "Oh no, I didn't just do that" outbursts.

I'd still  like to stretch out a grateful hand to the entire team at Scandal!, their producers, and my agent for this ever so amazing opportunity. Hopefully it was the first of many.

For the cameo it is... its my first TV acting role (okay well not really the first ever... Does everyone remember this? 

I smell a typecasting coming my way here... but eish but what can I say ijob yijob sbali. Both of these were much different to presenting a kiddies show about all things fast and (Supersonic).... much different.

AN S/O the amazing peeps at Birthmark

Dre, Francois, Nqobz and Brett De Vos whose names are to be screamed in three chants each for the legends they all are. All your names are written in stars my good peeps!!!

Slaving away on the set of a kiddies show all the way in Port Elizabeth as part of the second season of the first ever SABC kiddies show to be fully produced in the Eastern Cape (fist pump) really helps one put things in perspective. But I really cant wait to get back to the rat race that is the auditioning process.

I look forward to my journey *sprinkles umoya omuhle all over my future* Lets go get!!!
 
Move back bitches and give me my elbow room asb... I'd rather be doing nothing else with my life shemmm.

*forwards this blog post to my mother*

Want something to say? Say this of me... he fell and wet his knickers when he walked onto the Scandal set and found out that Hlomla Dandala was to be his director. Strusbob! (spread the word)

What I Know For Sure...

(Cues O Magazine editor to open this Woman’s day event, as the treats and champers flow freely… jokes… it aint that kinda party.)

Follow Me... @SizoVena

I recently turned 27 and thought maybe I should do a "What I Know For Sure" piece that could possibly open the world to who this person is and why he is the way he is. You know, a little personal checklist, as I was also inspired by Anele Mdoda’s recent book "It Feels Wrong to Laugh, but...", when she makes a checklist of things she's learnt along her journey.

On the rocky path to any form of discovery or recovery (where I'm at), taking stock is always a very tricky (very scary) yet necessary process... (I'm failing in trying to give this piece an intellectual intro and turn myself into overnight Pulitzer winner so let’s get on with the show… the list.) Today was just one of those days I felt I really needed to take some stock.

What I Know (#AboutMe) For Sure!

1.      I actually, really enjoy tennis (especially after the London Olympics). Can’t wait to start playing it.

2.      I suck at organising anything. (The word itself is a demon, one that appears in many forms). Organise, organisational, organiser… you name it. I can hook shit up, don’t ask me to organise.

3.      I’m not as good with children as I make people believe. (Yikes and I’m currently working on the set of a kiddies show). But then again I’m an actor, so I don't think people have picked it up.

4.      I have no interest in office work of any sort. Don’t!!!

5.      I have an attention disorder… Serious… I must have, there’s no way I don’t have one. Prove I don't have one, I dare you.

6.      I really enjoy walking (alone so I can have an entire performance at Madison Square with myself in the role of Beyonce or Britney).

7.      I talk to myself more than it should be considered normal.

8.      I enact entire, newly created scenes of myself in already existing S.A television roles when no one is looking. Sometimes we go international.

9.      I still dream of winning the Lotto (this one’s bad!)

10.  I never know as much as I always think I do… or sometimes even say I do. (But then again does anyone really?)

11.  I fail to remember certain (whole) years of my childhood life. Hence I’m really freaked out when people quote their four year old selves.

12.  I always blame someone else for shit. Then myself (and the shitty part is it stays there)

13.  I have knock knees and serious minger feet. I’m nowhere near accepting this as my fate. I eagerly await that one surgery that will make me whole again. (Amen)

14.  I’m busy working on my relationship with my little sister. It’s nowhere near where I want it to be. I want her to meet a cute boy and immediately call… no wait… run up to him with my business card. (Ja, much better and I will have business cards by then)

15.  I have a fat girl inside of me begging to come out, sometimes she gets a little sun break.

16.  Growing up, I  used to draw little comic strips that read and played out like actual movies… and I’ve never really figured out how I got them to make sense but they did. I really miss that.

17.  Idris Elba (shut up Lesedi), Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jamie Bartlett, Vusi Kunene and Thabo Mbeki will always be the top 5 (I don’t care what year it is)

18.   I also miss writing poetry (haven’t in almost a year). Losing my poetry books over and over again really kicked the (emotional) crap outta me.

19.  I was deputy head boy of a Christian high school ( I also played for their soccer team but I guess no one really needs to know that)

20.  I’m a pro party starter… I swear I need the fewest of resources to kick shit into gear (Honestly urging everyone to try me out on this one)

21.  I need to make it an everyday decision to take interest in my friend's and family's lives. I genuinely forget... (blames the attention disorder for this…) But I’m getting better at this.

22.  I love singing. Mind you I can’t even identify a note, let alone hit it… but still I soldier on (…a hundred motherfu*kers can’t tell me nothing)

23.  I stalk celebrities, hotties and girls I don't like. A lot. I’m a pro. I can find someone from just a first name and nothing much to go on.

24.  I think my acting is crap most of the time, but we soldier on. As much as this hurts me sometimes… I’m always trying to get better.

25.  I feel awkward when people don’t say anything (negative) about me when I walk past them or into a room… I almost want us to go for another take.

26.  I enjoy peeing more than crapping (apparently most people prefer the latter… I’ve never gotten that)

27.  I’m AH -MAZE-IIIIING... (ask my friends they're really smart)

Really looking forward to adding to this list as my life rides this wave of awesome that it is on… I have no qualms with my journey. Tough times or happy small victories, I can’t fight the feeling that I’m always where I’m meant to be. Okay let’s all puke now… so I can wrap this up.

If ever you shall speak of me. Please, oh please say this of… he was an advocate for loving and being one with the lesser parts of ourselves. Hulle’s ok important!

The Real Sprinters of Olympia

Oh the tales from the 100m starting line. (you know mos that introductory camera pan on all the players just before they race, as they warm up and focus on the race ahead... the flexing, stretching and feather fluffing)

Olympics' Queen B* - "I told ya'll... Whowwww bitch I'm fierce"

Am I the only one who enjoyed the show that was put on by the world’s finest 100m sprinters just before that Olympic final last night? I promise you, it’s like those boys were on script and the assistant director had just clapped the clapper board. It reminded me of an intro sequence to some F-grade telenovella about the lives and loves of Caribbean sprinters that I’ve never seen. Think Sunset Beach, Miami Sands et al.

It began with the delicious Yohan Blake, who gave us his “ladies-lov-me” poses as he licked the black off his own lips. You could’ve sworn that he was getting ready to sprint towards the coach’s son (who, for this telenovella’s sake, is the love interest). We then moved on to receive a cringe-worthy “I’m too sexy for this track, this gold or this silver” dance from Justin Gatlin (this was a killer).  

Hayi ke, without fail, your boy B* (Usain Bolt) was the nights biggest performer, before and after the actual race (like this is even news). I love this man’s confidence; he really does have that “Making-It-Rain-on-Them-Hoes” savoir faire. You know maan! That “If I beat you once, I beat you twice” je ne sais quois. Asafa Powell is not much of a show off I gathered, but coming in at number 8 (or last) out of the bunch I also wouldn’t be. That being said, I’d still tap that. (Oh don’t judge me, you know you would too)

One man whose performance was very subtle and unnoticeable, even after the race, was America’s hot-mess deluxe, eye candy supreme, Ryan Bailey (wipes brow). After a little conversation with a friend of mine this morning (@onefumi), we’ve come up with a few situations we’d like to find ourselves stuck in (with these few of course), and they have nothing to do with athletics. Or do they? I don’t know. You figure that out.

In closing, I’d like to disclaim that I know nothing about the 100m sprint, its rules, the protocol followed or its antics, but that I’m merely commentating on them in my own personal capacity as a person who found himself with no plans for the evening, on a couch, in front of a television set.

No expert opinion.

That being said all views expressed in this post are that of my own (and hopefully a few other wack heads out there).

I pray none of the sprinters’, Bolt fans’ or peanut gallerinas’ egos are hurt by the views expressed in this post. 

So the next time you sit down to catch a sporting event on TV, grab a bottle of wine and a paper cup and say this of me… Sizo would’ve been the best companion to watch this with. (Ya dig!)

Jamie Bartlett, a beast... a problem though!!!

When I was a little girl (yes you heard right) I wanted to be Jamie Bartlett. Of course I didn’t know who the fuck Jamie Bartlett was until my mid-teens, but who cares, I wanted to be him.

And I do admit that even today I know very little about this man, but I still want to be him. The love that I bear for the actor that is Jamie Bartlett bears no other name than this… FOREVER! 

It's not what you think guys... But just for the record, what are you thinking?

Since his days as part of the illustrious Isidingo cast, right up to when I saw him bring a passionate history teacher to life in the Market Theatre production, Death of a Colonialist (where I literally drooled from my semi-front row seat). Besides his superb exhibition of his craft and everything else, he has forever oozed a raw kind of firm, sexy aura that seethes out of the TV screen and captures you wherever you are. There is no chance of escape once he enters a scene. On Rhythm City, he speaks a language that I’ve only ever heard once in my life, from him. It is fresh, naughty and wry around the edges. He can tell you that you are such a piece of shit and you’d honestly feel so charmed and probably even blush (I know I would).

You are probably reading this and thinking WTF?!? Just realize that I’m sitting here and wondering the very same. But then again, why start a blog if I can’t bombard you all with random outbursts from my suppressed sexual frustration?  

If at any point in my life you are to ask me what the 3 hottest things at the moment are, Jamie will always make the list. Guaranteed!!!

3 Hottest Things @ da Moment (for me) are:

1.       Jamie Bartlett

2.       Girls with Boy names e.g Jack, John, Stevie

3.       Beyonce (Oh sorry guys, she’s also a permanent on this list)

So Jamie Bartlett it is… May this legend of a man forever grace TV screens across the land and may we all grow to understand that HE IS THE ONE!!!

As an actor in my adult life, I’m studying in the school of Jamie Bartlett (in the privacy of my own mind and home of course) and would kill if I could capture and be influenced by any of this greats’ skill, discipline and range.

I really don’t know what you can say of me from this post, really. I’m that nutty, psycho fan who should be kept away from Jamie Bartlett for his own safety? YES. 

So say this of me:  “He was a nutty, psycho fan who should’ve been kept from Jamie Bartlett (at all costs) for his own safety. But alas, we failed. So here we are!”

Forgive me... But I need to get this off my chest!

"And. Your. New.Minister... (inserts historic, long-ass, dramatic pause with music).. Is. (CLIFFHANGER.. roll credits)

Riveting stuff, I tell ya!

My favourite soap opera of all time… 

I cringe at the audacity most of our leadership seems to display as they (incompetently and fraudulently) fumble through their jobs. Vivid images of someone all up in my face saying, “Yeah I’m fucking you around. Whatchu gonna do about it bitch!!!”, keep flashing in my mind.

When are we planning to discuss the cavalier manner in which those in leadership positions view their positions? When will these positions be viewed (and treated) as the jobs they are and not just mere honorary titles bestowed upon the blessed few.

That being said, can our champion (yes you sir) adapt a more thought-out and considerate (nation-focused) procedure when recruiting for these positions. This Santa Claus approach I am seeing now, where such critical positions seem to be treated as Christmas gifts, is not revolutionary comrade. It’s not ‘weeeeecking’.  Yes we see you there. Crossing off and ticking away as you scroll down that already suspect list of friends…Oops I meant candidates.

I’ve never been to parliament but I’d so love to go. Every time I picture it inside this glitter-filled brain of mine, I see a high school corridor in those schools where the governing body has totally given up. There is a cheery, buddy-buddy conversation, about everything that is not school, going on and everyone is clearly drunk. There are prefects who are only in power because they are popular with all the delinquent kids, the smokers and the slutty, cool girls from rich families (whom I’ve always wanted to be). And they all vote for each other because they’ve all been at this school longer than law, logic or even life should allow (veterans I tell you). The Grade 8 to 10 votes are thrown out, they don’t matter. 

Say what you will, this is the picture I get most times I think about it.

They articulate all the right sentiments in their discussions, street circus rallies (read ‘act-lik-we-care’ parties), and long winded (and so unnecessary) excuses and smokescreens. All this while those who put them up there suffer, I say go do your own thing honey you are not about to eat if you wait. 

My heart tears every time I pick up a newspaper, catch a glimpse of a headline as I drive or happen to overhear the sordid details of a ministers shameful misconduct as I channel hop searching for scandal (Scandal! eTV,  get it? Whoaa tough crowd) that actually has been scripted for my amusement.

I finally do make my way to the programming of my desire, and while taking in Donna and Thembeka’s superb styling, Mangi’s adorable facial expressions plus Daniels alleged corruption, I realize that the juiciest drama was a channel or two ago. And I think to myself, “I wonder who styles the leads in that soapie that our democracy has become.

In that breath, my dear friends, countrymen and fellow sufferers, I say, please, oh please say this of me… He wanted change in the worst kind of way. 

Hello World!!!

"Whitney Houston... we have a problem. Sizo has started a blog."

Oh wow, so I finally decide to try out blogging. Phew lets see how this goes. I guess while I wait to get noticed and ultimately published or made an overnight cult (read BLOW UP), here is MY blog. Fashionably late as is, the peanut gallery can just \_ ... 

Before you carry on into actually reading this blog *giggles*, my blog. I just wanna tell yall how chuffed I am that you're here. Nilapha nyan?!? *giggles some more* He he he he he he he Feeeeeeeeeeenks!

Hoping it will be unique, fresh, funny as hell , quirky, soooo 'fetch' and not as morbid as the blog title may suggest. Basically sharing with you world, what my close friends (who are the coolest) and family get to enjoy when with me. ( I just feel I'm too delicious not to go all out and franchise this self of mine and now while here in P.E, I have the time). 

I figured I kinda like my world and the way I see it, and wanted to share it with all'a'yall and in turn interact with other views and see how we see this very same world.

Hope i enjoy this lovely exercise in self-indulgence (and hopefully you too). If not? What the heck, a lil free expression never started a civil war right? Move up blogsters, I wanna sit next to Khaya Dlanga.

So look forward to a lot of ME and my uber random cool surroundings and adventures, and the realities I choose to extract from it all.

So please, oh please say this of me... HE HAS A BLOG!!!!

Here I am bishezzzz. LOVE ME!